Message on Pulp mailout:

Dear Santa...
I want a Scalextric, a soap on a rope, a purple bomber jacket, a guitar that never goes out of tune, a satsuma, a machine that makes boring people disappear, a spacehopper, a pair of scissors that are always where you think they are, a time machine, a digital watch with a chunky strap, a variety pack of Pot Noodles, a pet dinosaur, self-polishing shoes, a BRUT talc and after-shave gift set, a season ticket to Blackpool pleasure beach, peace on earth and goodwill to all men, a pair of nylon Y-fronts, an alarm clock that wakes you up, a milky bar silver dollar, personal tantric sex tuition, a water pistol, the power of flight, an egg timer that apologizes if your eggs are too runny or too hard, a night out with Roy Walker, a pair of socks that never get smelly, a good haircut.... but most of all, more than anything else, I want to see pulp at The Leadmill on the 28th of December. If I could just have that you can forget everything else........
oh please....